Laugh a little

I have had a small life epiphany. Now, I am sorry to say but nothing exciting has happened to me, I don't have a job part-time or full-time and I'm still searching for both in lovely Florida. But at this moment I am extremely happy.

There are a lot of things we all assume are necessary to be happy. A loving family, a job we love, a person to share our lives with, and many other small things. But really, isn't happiness all about the journey to find those things? Really happiness is a decision we all make every day. And I am deciding to be happy.

And the sign that I can make that decision is, in my eyes, being able to laugh with no one around. When you're laughing because it's funny and not because you're around other people, well, then at that moment you must be happy. And I have spent all day alone and laughing and have to say its been a great day.

Just thought I would share my new goal with all of you, and if you need something to make you laugh here's a video that is...HILARIOUS.

Hopefully soon I'll be posting about a new job or something but until then, don't forget to laugh!

Best,
Chloe

It is all OK

Hello World!

Well, I know many people thought this blog would, in all reality, end when I came home from the Peace Corps. Sorry friends, I seem to think I'm more interesting than that. Now don't worry, I don't actually expect a lot of people to keep reading but I think this is important. Because I think a lot of people my age, even ones with jobs, and apartments and all that other awesome stuff I want to deal with are still wondering what life means and feel like we are supposed to have the answers to the rest of our lives. And the truth is, we don't, and we never will. But you know what, IT IS OK.

I started reading a new book yesterday, courtesy of my parents and their helpful friends at church who have had kids who had to reevaluate their plans. It is titled I Just Graduated...Now What? and it is by Katherine Schwarzenegger the daughter of Maria Shriver. I know, I know, the title kinda gives the point of the book away. But I've only read the introduction so far and it has already changed my outlook. The most important part is, I am not alone, most people my age question their plans, their life, and their futures even when it seems like they are the ones who have it completely together. And honestly, for the first time since I started caring what other people were doing I'm really happy I'm not different, I'm actually the norm.

I came home from Madagascar, for my own reasons, thinking I would start applying to jobs and POOF I'd get a job in about two months. Well, it's been almost three months and I've only had a couple phone interviews and a lot of rejections and that two months is just not going to happen. I know that I was thinking this would be too easy, but I don't think I realized how defeating being unemployed can feel. Some days you want to apply to any job you can get your hands on (that can lead you to bad decisions like taking phone interviews for a call center even though you know it is absolutely the wrong job for you) and some days, getting up and doing anything seems pointless. And while I am in this limbo, I slowly watch my savings disappear. Not the most fun experience ever.

So I had to make some decisions.
1. I can't expect to just get a job and be financially secure.
2. It is time to get a part time job and stop hurting my savings.
3. Living with my parents is nice but I'm using it as a crutch so I need to go elsewhere.

So because of these decisions I am leaving Alexandria to stay with a friend in Orlando, FL (in her spare room) and get a part time job while I continue to job search. I know that it is not what I expected and no one who knows me thought I would be here, they all thought I would be in Africa right now. But I am figuring out my life, and doing in a way that will make me feel so proud of myself and secure in my independence when the right job finally comes along.

 I am going to keep updating this blog. I hope you all enjoy it!

Best,
Chloe

It's always my choice

Life is never as simple as you can make it out to be in your head. That is the lesson I've learned in the past week or so. You can make decisions and even if they are the right decisions they don't make things afterward easy and simple. I think as we grow up it always seems like if you make the right decisions then everything will work out and it will work out quickly but life isn't a Boy Meets World episode.

I have come to the conclusion that I was absolutely correct in deciding to come back to the US, find a job, and start my career on the same continent as my family and friends. But man, finding a job is hard. I have three different resumes, two cover letters that I change for each job, and a job speadsheet that makes me wonder how long this is going to take me. I mean, I didn't think I would find a job in a week, I'm not an idiot (although that would have been very nice). But I'm starting to wonder how long it will be before I DO find a job. And how long before this gap between graduation and my first job will actually negatively effect my job search.

I've applied to 13 jobs and gotten 1 rejection and have 5 more jobs that I'm waiting for advice before I apply. And that is just the start, I probably won't be lucky until I am far past 50 job applications, probably close to or even over 100. And the hope is that by May (wince) I will have a job and know when and where I am moving. It feels so good to have plans and know that my plans should end up working but I have started to realize something else. The job market kind of sucks.

Its not that there aren't jobs, there are. In fact, there are a TON of jobs that would be great second or third jobs but not a lot of people want new graduates and there are enough unemployed people that they can be picky. But how do you get the experience required when people don't want to hire you without experience?

I have to say, that I am nervous and hoping that it will all turn out right, because I am where I need to be. Worst case, I have to reevaluate and figure out a new plan. And I know how to do that now, how to look at my path and figure out how to make a new one. And that's the best part really, I am DETERMINED to make it work and when you have that as a focus, and know you want it to work that's a large part of the battle.

But if any of you know of an entry level job for a recent college graduate with a degree in Management, a concentration in International Business, and a minor in Anthropology. Please, let me know.

I found a few more quotes this week, I am using them to motivate myself.

"Even if you fall on your face, you are still moving forward."~Victor Kiam
"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." ~Wayne Dyer
"Change your thoughts and you change your world." ~Norman Vincent Peale

Love you all,
Chloe

New Adventures

Hello my lovely family and friends.

Big news, I am writing this from my parents' home in Alexandria. I know, SHOCKING and honestly not what anyone was expecting. I did go to Madagascar, and I did spend time with my host family and then I realized something. I am not ready for this.

Please do not mistake me. I was physically even more prepared than I thought. I could eat the food, take the bucket baths and deal with all of the requirements for healthy living. It was surprisingly easy in most cases, to the point where two years of doing those things wasn't something I was even worried about anymore.

What I was not ready for was the emotional requirements to going to Madagascar for two years. I have a lot of reasons why I came home and for me they are the right reasons. But most of all it just wasn't the right decision for me to stay in Madagascar.

I have a few other comments to add. First of all, the Peace Corps is a wonderful organization that really gives you great opportunities and if you realize it is not for you they also support you through your process of leaving and returning home. And I hope, in the future, I can help other people make the decision to join the Peace Corps and make a huge difference. Second, I am so excited to start my life here at home so I look forward to trying to see some of you in the near future.

Finally, I really would rather not talk about it more than I have to, it was a difficult and personal decision. But if you need to talk to me about my decision to leave Madagascar please feel free to let me know.

I think, at least for a while, I am going to try and still update my blog. I know some of you will be extremely curious as to what happens with my life now. But as of today I am searching for a job and figuring it out for myself.

My mom sent me a quote recently:

"As one goes through life, one learns that if you don't paddle your own canoe, you don't move." ~ Katharine Hepburn

Well, today I'm taking some of my first paddle strokes because it really is time to get my canoe moving.


Love,
Chloe

Off to Africa!

My adventure truly begins

As I write this I am getting ready to go to bed so that I can get up and shower before my 2:30am departure from Philadelphia. We will all drive to New York and at JFK we will get on a plane to Johannesburg, South Africa. After the short 15 hour flight we will take another flight to Antananarivo, Madagascar and arrive by afternoon on Wednesday. After our afternoon staging event I can tell you three things.

1. I know nothing. But I will learn during training and on the job all of the important things to making it in Mada. But really this is an entire new life adventure and I will be experiencing so many new things that I will have to learn a lot every day.

2. I am not alone. I have to tell you it was comforting to sit and a room and realize that the same fears and hopes are in the heads of most of the people there. We will get through the stress and get to enjoy our adventure together!

3. I am so scared and ready for this I can barely breath. I have been talking about the Peace Corps for years and Madagascar specifically for months and the fact that it is finally real is crazy. But it is a crazy I am so ready for. The knot in my stomach has butterflies and is the greatest uncomfortable feeling I have ever had.

I know this is a short one but I will try to post again soon. For everyone I didn't get to talk to I love you! And a special bit of love for my mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, and my soon to be nephew! I will miss you all like crazy but I'll come back a stronger, better person.

Love you all heaps!

Chloe

Purdue Strong, Packing, and Friends

Ok, this is a bad sign. I haven't even left for Madagascar yet and I fell off the blog-wagon! But to be fair its been a crazy couple of weeks.

I have this awesome post written about my friend Michelle's visit to DC. We went to the Smithsonian and the monuments and I wrote this awesome post about how cool it was to be able to visit parts of our nation's history without even having to travel.

Unfortunately, when I went to publish my post on 1/21/2014 something else focused my attention. There was a shooting at Purdue University and one student was killed. So of course, me being me, I wasn't going to post about my awesome weekend and I decided I had to share my thoughts about the shooting. But after some reflection I decided my opinions had no place in such a tragedy. Click here for a touching letter written by one of the victim's professors.

After an awesome weekend with Michelle in DC and some upsetting news the next week I then got to spend the weekend of 1/27/2014 with two of my best friends Alaina and Rosalie, in San Francisco and Sacramento California. It was awesome, we got to be tourists in San Francisco and then we got to explore Sacramento. I have never spent time in Northern California and  I really liked it, I can't wait to go back for another visit.

And this weekend I am getting to spend time with two of my awesome cousins! Rachel and Whitney and I have gotten to spend the weekend hanging out, having fun, and packing for Africa. I'm also really lucky that they were here because they were able to help me go through all my clothes and pick out everything that I am going to take with me. Thank goodness they were here because I would never have been able to cut down on all the items I want to take without their brutal honesty.

Since it is getting so close to the time I am going to leave I will try to post a couple more times in the next week. I hope you all had a good January and the start to our shortest month is good.

All the Best,
Chloe

Packing is as packing does...

Ok, so here's the problem. I created a packing list and started figuring out what I need to buy (I know so unlike me!) BUT that was bad bad idea.

I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO!

Not only do I need to start packing and figuring out what I can take in my two suitcases but I have to go BUY a lot of it! I feel like the time I have until I leave just keeps rushing by and I don't have enough time to see people, pack, buy the necessities and be ready on time. How did I ignore this for so long?? I should have started weeks ago and the fact that I didn't was just silly.

I received my staging email this week as well. I officially have a staging date and location and a flight. It's crazy that I have less than 30 days until I am out of the country for over 2 years...But for those who are interested, I am leaving DC on February 9th and arriving in Philadelphia late that night, I have about 7 hours of staging in the hotel on February 10th and I leave on a bus for New York at 2:30AM on February 11th. I will fly from New York to Johannesburg, South Africa and then from there I will fly to Antananarivo, Madagascar. Then I will start my time as a trainee and if I learn enough and have enough language proficiency at the end of my training I will officially become a volunteer. My journey has begun!

On a side note, I started writing my "just in case" letters this week. And let me tell you, its HARD. First of all, figuring out what you want to say if something bad happens to you is hard to imagine, what do I want to say if I never have a chance to say anything again? Umm...mostly sorry I didn't stay with you. But I'm managing I need to get them done before I leave for California because I'm leaving them with Alaina along with a few other odds and ends.

I know that some people have a lot of questions about the Peace Corps. I know a lot of information and I still have questions! Here's a cool video that recruiters often show at universities at info sessions. Well, there is not that much else that is going on with me. I hope you all have a wonderful week!!!

Best,
Chloe